Today marks the beginning of the end…of watching Eagles’ players in shorts. Well, at least until next year. The first, and only, mandatory minicamp begins today. Thus, we have three more days of Eagles non-football practice. That’s it. The next time we’ll see this team after this is training camp. With pads involved. And hitting. And all that shit. I’m ready for that – for it to feel like football. Not a glorified workout session. I’ve made my thoughts on offseason training activities abundantly clear, and thus there’s no need for me to belabor it anymore. I have a tendency to belabor things, or so I’ve been told. So in lieu of belaboring, how about we talk some Eagles instead of listening to me bitch about non-football, football. That sound good? Stupid question. Obviously that sounds good. Who wants to listen to me bitch? No one, that’s who. Anyhoo, let’s talk Birds.
I don’t know about you, but I’m already tired of OTA’s. It’s way too much hoopla over what is ultimately not football. It’s football lite-lite. And we make a big deal out of how guys look running around in shorts with zero contact taking place. “Player X is looking great in OTA’s!” is something I will never say, nor care about if someone else says it. Would I prefer players look good rather than bad, sure. But tbh I really don’t give AF. Wake me up when they put pads on. Is that a fair thing to say? I can’t hear anyone so I’m guessing no one is reading. I’m just going to assume you would have said yes. With that positive affirmation in mind, let’s rock some news and notes — Eagles style. *That was so lame. Luckily, no one is reading this.*
I normally write a long, rambling open for The Sesh. Sometimes it’s hilarious, other times it’s a nonsensical stream of consciousness. It’s often self-indulgent, but not in a pompous (dickish?) way. But most importantly, it’s always based on strong feelings about one thing or another – and as you know, I tell you exactly how I feel. For better or worse. However, today, I have nothing to bloviate about. Nary (nary?) a thing that inspires me to have feelings, much less those of a strong nature. Sure, I could’ve forced something about Tim (don’t call me Timmy) Jernigan’s sprained ankle or written a bunch of words about how insane we are as a fanbase to care so much about OTA’s – or more succinctly – football without pads and hitting (aka not football). Do other fanbases monitor these meaningless team activities as much as we do? No way, right? Regardless, the point is – I won’t subject you to that. I care about you guys too much. I can’t lie to you and fake my way through an open because there’s nothing I feel passionate enough to write it about. Oh wait, that’s what I just did! With that in (your blown) mind – let’s get to breaking down those (not) football activities with everything we got. But first…
Before we get started, I feel the need to offer a quick word of apology. I’m about to spew a bunch of mind vomit about Cox all over you. So, I’m sorry. With that out of the way, let’s get to the vomit. My initial reaction to Cox skipping OTA’s to “spend time with his family” was one of anger and vitriol. Now that I’ve had almost a day to process it, I’m still angry and vitriolic! Didn’t see that coming, did ya? Seriously though, I’m outraged. Well, as much as anyone can be “outraged” about such a mundane thing that doesn’t directly affect his or her life. But I’m definitely pissed off about it. It makes me angry on so many levels. The fact that he signed a $100 million contract last offseason should be reason enough to be incensed. $100 f*cking million! But there’s so much more that bugs me. Fletcher Cox is one of the leaders on this team, whether he likes it or not. That’s the price you pay when you become the highest paid player on a team. There are certain expectations that come with that. Reasonable expectations. Like, you know, earning that money. This is the first time the rookies and new free agent additions will be here, what kind of example does it set when the highest paid player on the team isn’t there? More importantly, why wouldn’t he want to be there. And I swear, if I hear one more person say “voluntary means its voluntary, he doesn’t have to be there,” I’m going to punch that person in the face. I’m acutely aware of what the definition of “voluntary” is — I got it. But Fletcher Cox had many other opportunities to plan time with his family. The season ended January 1st and there is still a good amount of free time before training camp begins – family time didn’t have to happen now. Again, $100 F*CKING MILLION. Alright, enough of my mind vomit, I could go on for days, but if you don’t already agree with me – or with my buddy Jack Fritz or also has strong feelings on Cox (hehe) – you probably never will. So let’s move on and talk about something other than Cox (hehe).
Football is back, bitches! Well, that’s not really true. It’s not football, being that there are no pads being worn, but it’s…something. So, OTA’s are back, bitches! I don’t know about you, but I’m jonesing for some football. And while guys running around in helmets and shorts isn’t the ideal scenario, it’s still better than no one running around at all. Ya feel me? Plus, there are real reasons to be excited about this Eagles team right now – and not just the normal “jonesing” reason. Carson Wentz is taking that pivotal step from year one to two; he’ll have legitimate NFL-quality wide receivers to throw to – including one with true #1 upside; a bruising, punishing running back to pair with a short, shifty freak of nature in the backfield; and a deep group of lineman to protect him. Are there reasons to worry? Obviously. And yes, I’m looking at you cornerbacks. But there’s still cause for optimism – both for the now and for the future. And that’s pretty cool. So enjoy OTA’s. Revel in the hope. We all know it won’t last for long, so I’ll take every second of it I can get, even if those seconds involve not real football in the month of May. With that in mind, let’s run down all the excitement surrounding the big helmets and shorts action going down this week.
LeGarrette Blount is on the Wentz Wagon! Philly’s newest Blount professed his love (or like) for our fair-haired ginger yesterday during his introductory press conference. My good buddy Brandon Lee Gowton has the full transcript here with Blount’s comments on Wentz front and center:
“He’s a really talented player,” said Blount. “Obviously he’s one of the better quarterbacks of his draft class and generation. I think he has the potential to be a really special player. He has all the tools that’s needed and the grind that’s needed and the mindset to maximize his abilities if he just continues to work hard.”
LeGarrette knows just what to say to give me the warm and fuzzies. I couldn’t be happier about his signing. I love that he’s on the Wentz Wagon; his bruising style of running; his habit of finding himself in the end zone; and the fact that he’s exactly what this team needed. But most importantly, his name is Blount. He’s a Philly effing Blount. That is just too much fun to handle. Big time shout out to Howie and the crew for another savvy addition — on another one-year-deal no less! Plus, it’s one more piece of weaponry for Wentz to have in his arsenal. A guy who, in theory, should help take some pressure off the kid. How could anyone complain about that? Welp, they have. I’ve heard it with mine own two ears. The biggest complaint I’ve heard is something to the effect of “Bill Belichick let him go so he must suck.” Guess what, that’s a stupid f*cking argument. It just is. Blount makes sense for this team and he’s costing them a very reasonable sum of money for only one season. If you can’t get down with that, you’re just a hater. Sorry not sorry. Anyhoo, now that I’ve alienated anyone who disagrees with me, let’s keep this Blount smokin’. But first…
I’m back bitches! Did you miss me? Who am I kidding, you obviously did. How could you not? I’m a delight. Now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, let’s get right back to it – because, if I’m being honest with myself, I know you didn’t miss my weird, sometimes incoherent inner monologue that I can’t help but puke out of my fingers. Haha. Finger puke. Anyhoo, like I said, you don’t want that shit – you want the Eagles shit. Hehe, bird shit. Alright, alright, I’ll stop effing around – well, I’ll try to anyway. In that vein, let’s talk Eagles sh…rookies. Eagles rookies. In case you missed it, the new rookie class made their debut appearance in Eagles green over the weekend, as the team hosted their rookie minicamp. Normally these minicamps are pretty uneventful and this year wasn’t much different, but there were a few takeaways to be had. The biggest, for me at least, is that all these youngsters seem to be really good dudes who also appear to love football. Plus, Mack Hollins is going to be a legend in this town – and maybe even a good player to boot. For more rookie minicamp nuggets, check out Brandon Lee Gowton’s 13 notes, I promise you won’t regret it. Unless you hate notes, in which case, you’re weird. Alright, now that I’ve offended all the notes haters out there, let’s do some notes!
Ok. This is it. This will be my last Sesh before the draft (you’re welcome). As a result, I feel it’s my obligation; my duty to tell you who I think the Eagles should and will take with the 14th pick in the NFL Draft. After writing that, I see how self-indulgent it is – why the f*ck should you care what I think about either? You shouldn’t, buuuut you’re here, so I’m going to take advantage of that and force you to allow me to indulge…in myself.
Here’s what I think the Eagles should do on Thursday night: Take Reuben Foster!
- I would love Fournette or McCaffery, but don’t think either falls. The only true blue-chip prospect who might fall to the Eagles is Reuben Foster. And granted, there are lots of red flags with Foster, but Warren Sapp and Randy Moss fell because of red flags too. At least, so far as we know, Foster hasn’t knocked a woman out cold (don’t draft Joe Mixon!), so that’s good too. Most important, Reuben Foster is a football player. A mean, competitive, intelligent (football smarts), hard-hitting, football player. Take Reuben Foster. *Note: I won’t complain about Barnett, Davis, or even Williams depending on how things plays out.*
Here’s what I think the Eagles will do on Thursday night: Take Charles Harris. #Sadface
- Man. It’s gonna be a bummer if I’m right, but I’m mentally steeling myself already for inevitable disappointment. I don’t know why I’m veering towards pessimism here, but it’s just the feeling I get. I hope I’m wrong, obviously, but Harris seems like the name that sticks out the most to me for a number of reasons – most of which I won’t bore you by chronicling. However, I will say that until Howie Roseman surprises me at the draft (in a positive way), I won’t believe that he can. Maybe Joe Douglas is the magic elixir Howie needs to make me believe, and maybe I should already believe (WENTZ), but I just can’t get myself there. Hopefully, I can Thursday night, which would mean the Eagles didn’t draft Charles Harris.
Alright, thanks for indulging me in my own indulgence. I shall reward you with all the latest NFL Draft and Eagles related news and notes — after the jump.
Shit is getting real y’all! The NFL Draft is heating up – the rumors, innuendo, and misinformation is flowing – and I f*cking love it! I can’t get enough. Thus, you won’t be able to get enough either, cause I’m going to give it to you (that sounded better in my head). Well, I’m going to give you stuff other people have done while throwing in my own comments along the way, cause that’s how I roll — lazy. I’ve got Reuben Foster news for you, Joe Mixon innuendo, and more misinformation that you can handle coming your way, but first, I want to start with Corey Davis. Or should I say, “Future Eagle” Corey Davis:
— Carl Strome (@strome_92) April 24, 2017
Corey Davis retweeted that! Seriously. Now, obviously, this could (and probably does) mean nothing. But, and it’s a big BUT, it could mean something. Plus, Alshon just started following Davis on Twitter. So basically, THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING!!! Hahaha. No, it’s probably not. But it might. And that’s the beauty of the NFL Draft – anything can happen. That was a terrible, lame, cliche sentence. I apologize. But it’s true in a sense, there are a lot of options for the Eagles at 14, and most of them would make me (and you) very happy. Corey Davis chief among them. I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t take Charles Harris @Eagles. Alright, lots to get to – so let’s get to it. Foster, Mixon, and more…after the jump.
It’s schedule release day! Also, one week until the draft! Not to mention Mixon news, peak Mel Kiper and more. What a wild and crazy day. A little “Inside Baseball” for you, sometimes I struggle to decide what to lede my post with – often because there isn’t something exciting to discuss. But today, oh man today, that’s a different story. We are one week til the draft. Thematically, that just works, right? But so does the whole “Happy Schedule Release Day” thing. Schedule release day is pivotal (I’ll explain why in a bit). So that works too. Joe Mixon is the lightning rod of all lightning rods – and there’s new reports, rumors, and innuendo to discuss about him. Another winner – not Mixon, obviously, but the topic. Mixon is a loser of the highest degree and (as I’ve said) I hope he doesn’t end up on the Eagles. And Mel Kiper is, basically, the go-to voice at this time of year, and he’s Kipering so freaking hard right now. I could have written four different Sesh lede’s about each of these topics. Sadly, you got a crappy paragraph where I tried to force them all into one. Classic Seltz. Time to make it up to you. Get ready for my takes on all of this and more…after the jump.