Today marks the beginning of the end…of watching Eagles’ players in shorts. Well, at least until next year. The first, and only, mandatory minicamp begins today. Thus, we have three more days of Eagles non-football practice. That’s it. The next time we’ll see this team after this is training camp. With pads involved. And hitting. And all that shit. I’m ready for that – for it to feel like football. Not a glorified workout session. I’ve made my thoughts on offseason training activities abundantly clear, and thus there’s no need for me to belabor it anymore. I have a tendency to belabor things, or so I’ve been told. So in lieu of belaboring, how about we talk some Eagles instead of listening to me bitch about non-football, football. That sound good? Stupid question. Obviously that sounds good. Who wants to listen to me bitch? No one, that’s who. Anyhoo, let’s talk Birds.
Jeremy Maclin is a Baltimore Raven. Aka, Ozzie does it again. But according to Jeremy Maclin (via Josina Anderson), the Eagles were his second choice! Two quick thoughts on this. One, f*ck you for not choosing us, Jeremy. Kidding…kidding. All the best JMac. Two, this means the Eagles were legitimately interested in Maclin. Which leads us to infer they’re theoretically in the market for an upgrade at wide receiver, if the right opportunity arises. I find that…interesting. Also, presented without comment:
We have released WR Eric Decker.
— New York Jets (@nyjets) June 12, 2017
Hmmmm. Moving on, the biggest topic of discussion so far during OTA’s…sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little. That’s how much I hate OTA’s. Anyway, Carson Wentz’s struggles have been discussed ad nauseam during OTA’s. It annoys me that people are even talking about this considering the whole wearing shorts and not hitting each other thing, but I’m also a hypocrite – so I talked about it (and Doug P) with Jon Marks and Jack Fritz. Hopefully you enjoy our banter enough to get over my hypocrisy.
Speaking of hypocrisy…I got nothing. I was going for a smooth transition there and I shit the bed. I’m sorry guys. Especially because I could/should have said, “speaking of Carson Wentz,” Matt Mullin does a nice job allaying our fears of a sophomore slump from our savior. Yup. Should have gone with the second one. That was dumb.
Speaking of dumb (nailed it), Lane Johnson has eliminated all the supplements from his “regimen” and has adjusted his diet to supply what said supplements were supposedly supplying. I have an idea Lane, eliminate steroids from your diet and you should be fine. Buuuuuurrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn. I hope I didn’t scorch your skin with that burn, Lane. But seriously, no roids, k?
In a bit of sad news, Marcus Smith is apparently going to report to minicamp. I know, I’m bummed too you guys. I thought I’d seen the last of this rube. Sadly, we’ll have to wait for training camp cuts to say goodbye to (FORMER FIRST ROUND PICK!!!) Marcus Smith. September 3rd is the day the final 53-man roster has to be locked in by the Eagles. That’s 83 more days of Marcus Smith in an Eagles uniform. Let the countdown begin!
Was I a little too mean there about Marcus? Is counting the days til he’s cut over the line? Nah. It’s fine. He’s terrible and was a first round pick. Granted, it’s not his fault the Eagles took him there, but who cares, I want him gone. Sorry not sorry. You know what is out of line? Saying Howie Roseman is one of the ten GM’s most on the hot seat this season. That’s just wrong – or as Jon Marks says, it’s silly.
Alright, I’ve clearly reached that point where I have nothing left to offer. Well, nothing anyone would want anyway. So let’s mail the rest of this bitch in like we like to do — Twitter Time:
— Carson Wentz (@cj_wentz) June 12, 2017
Drink water, Carson. Drink lots of water. I’m not much of a prayer guy, but I’ll make sure to drink a lot of water tomorrow too. In solidarity. No one should have to hydrate alone.
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) June 12, 2017
This video is more entertaining than anything you’ll see in the actual minicamp practices. #Fact
The #Eagles should absolutely release Marcus Smith before the roster bonus kicks in. They’ll save $1.4 million in full.
— PST PODCAST SHOW 🎙 (@PhiladelphiaPST) June 12, 2017
Yes! Do this, @Eagles. See, Jeff gets it.
Assuming its true, #Eagles reportedly coming in 2nd for Maclin after Doug said “no” at the podium is not a good look for the head coach
— Eliot Shorr-Parks (@EliotShorrParks) June 12, 2017
I don’t always agree with Eliot, but I’m with him here. The Eagles have consistently hung Doug out to dry. Sorry, but I have to do it again…#Fact.
— SNF on NBC (@SNFonNBC) June 12, 2017
Yes. YES. Bring the Power, LeGarette. Bring the power.
— Gayle Saunders (@EagleSessions) June 12, 2017
My good friend Gayle brings up a good point. I hadn’t thought about this. Bummer for all the Maclin jersey owners out there. Sorry, guys and gals. I feel for ya.
Corey Undlin: We’re going about our business and preparing like Sidney Jones is going to play this year. So is he. We’ll see. #Eagles
— Matt Lombardo (@MattLombardoPHL) June 12, 2017
I’ve spent 10 minutes trying to think of the appropriate way to express how excited I am about this tweet and I can’t do it. That’s how f*cking excited I am about this tweet.
King Dunlap — the Chargers’ LT last year — hangs ’em up. https://t.co/0IwsFRtusI
— Albert Breer (@AlbertBreer) June 12, 2017
Shout out to
the a King. He had a muuuuuuuuuch better career than anyone who watched him play as an Eagle ever thought he would. So, yeah.
Washington to announce changes to personnel department on Tuesday https://t.co/2ti4L1NxXY
— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) June 12, 2017
Is that Daniel Snyder’s music I hear?
Eddie Lacy passed his weigh-in today and will collect $55K in incentives from the Seahawks. He came in under 250lbs.
— NFL Update (@MySportsUpdate) June 12, 2017
Can someone please pay me to lose weight? I swear I’ll do it. I’d be great at it. Give me $55K and I’ll lose whatever you want me to. I mean, seriously, how is this a thing?!
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) June 13, 2017
WTF? I can’t even…I’m out. Well, almost…
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) June 12, 2017
This is among the coolest things I’ve ever seen. Can we get one for Barry Bonds? Ok, now I’m out.