You may have missed it. Perhaps due to mourning the loss of Nerlens Noel or being blind with rage at the stupidity of Bryan Colangelo. But there was some Eagles news yesterday amid the flurry of Woj Bombs and shitty Sixers trades. Jason Peters will return as the starting left tackle for our Eagles next season – and he will not be taking a pay cut to do so. Here’s what I have to say about it: Good. First and foremost, I’m happy Peters will be back to protect Carson Wentz’s blindside. And while I’d love to have him at a cheaper price, I’ll never begrudge any NFL player for something financial. These guys destroy their bodies for our viewing pleasure, and have a very small window of peak (life) earning potential. Not to mention having nowhere near the contractual guarantees that MLB or NBA players do. Which is crazy, but a matter for a different day – today I’m just glad Jason Peters will be back on my team next season, and I’m 100% ok paying him what the team promised him they’d pay. He’s earned it. And again, he can still play! At least, he could last season. Plus, he’s an important member of the locker room. He’s a quiet dude, so I don’t know if he’s a “fire them up” kind of leader, but I spent three years around that team, and I can tell you for sure that Peters is a leader. Of course, you could also just watch this:
Yup. I’ll take that guy on my team anytime. Especially now that he’s protecting (in every sense of the word) a red-haired ginger gladiator and not a blonde-haired doofus. Sorry, but it’s true – Nick Foles is a doofus. And a bad quarterback. In fact, I’m sorry I brought him back into your life in the first place. I promise I won’t mention Nick Foles again. Swear. Don’t believe me? No? Well, you’ll just have to continue reading to find out!
Seriously though, I’m not going to mention Nick Foles again, I wasn’t kidding about that. Oh shit, I just did it. That doesn’t count though, right? That shouldn’t count. I’m going to say it doesn’t. This is getting awkward. Let’s move on.
Speaking of awkward, Chip Kelly is still searching for a job, giving us confirmation that karma is, in fact, a bitch. Man, I don’t miss that guy one bit – turns out, neither do the Eagles.
You know who I (and the Eagles) do miss? Jeremy Maclin. Maclin’s name has surfaced over the past few days of wide receiverpalooza. But is there a real chance the Chiefs cut him? And if so, would the Eagles bring him back? Jimmy Kempski takes a stab at answering those questions (and more) here.
We’ve spent most of our time bloviating about upgrades at wide receiver (with good reason), but in doing so, we’ve neglected to give the position of cornerback the discussion time it deserves. Not anymore! Not in my house. Or more correctly, not in Zach Berman’s house.
One potential option for the Eagles at cornerback is A.J. Bouye, but he won’t come cheap. Regardless, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to end up back in Houston either way.
On a down note, the Eagles suffered a big loss yesterday as PR Director Derek Boyko announced he’d taken a job with the Buffalo Bills. As someone who know and watched him in action – I cannot overstate how much of a bummer it is that the Eagles are losing Derek. He was terrific at his job and treated everyone with dignity and class. On a personal note, I’m happy for Derek and his family. I wish them all the luck in the world.
Alright, I’m out of bullets. Plus, it’s Friday, I got a job and I got shit to do – so I’m gonna get you high (on Twitter) today. Never fear, here comes the Twittersphere. But first, I gotta pay off that tease…
Whatever happened to Chris Tucker btw? The last thing I remember is that he got super fat a few years ago. I wonder if he’s still super fat. These are the things I think about. Anyhoo, let’s get this train back on the tracks — to the Twitter Dot Com!
When eagles asked Peters for a pay cut: pic.twitter.com/08h5vW2eKa
— Kelly (@girlnamedkelly) February 23, 2017
Guessing this is a fair representation of how things went down.
— Philadelphia 76ers (@Sixers) February 24, 2017
This is the most misleading tweet of all time. C’mon guys. Just say two second rounders. Don’t treat us like we’re stupid.
It was nice of Dallas to send the #sixers a fake first for the headlines, at least.
— Derek Bodner (@DerekBodnerNBA) February 23, 2017
What Derek Said.
the sixers had a road map to contention via elite defense. all colangelo had to do was avoiding shitting the bed
— Ben Detrick (@bdetrick) February 23, 2017
He shit the bed in every room of his mansion (I’m guessing he has a mansion).
Bryan Colangelo’s last 2 weeks:
-Lied about Embiid injury
-Sent Okafor home, brought him back
-Traded Noel for garbage
— Joe Giglio (@JoeGiglioSports) February 23, 2017
Yup. That pretty much sums it up. At least we still have this guy…
— Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) February 24, 2017
Just make sure Bryan Colangelo isn’t allowed anywhere near Embiid. I don’t want the Colangelo stink to rub off on him. Enough Sixers talk…I’m just making myself (and you) depressed.
— Darrell Romuld (CTV) (@CTVDarrell) February 23, 2017
Now I’m even more depressed.
Charles Oakley sitting with Cavs’ owner Dan Gilbert at the Knicks vs. Cavaliers game 👀 pic.twitter.com/NqyeOhyXDc
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) February 24, 2017
Dan Gilbert is straight trolling James Dolan here. I love it. #TrollinDolan
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) February 23, 2017
“This guy is one of the best quarterbacks in the league.”
— NFL (@NFL) February 23, 2017
After all this depressing stuff, I thought we all could use a laugh. Thanks Derek Carr’s brother, we needed that.